Saturday, June 12, 2010

Would you like some ranch with that? (Repost from 8-22-2008)

For the next couple of weeks I'll be reposting some of my favorite posts over the years to celebrate the 5th birthday of my blog. Ranch dressing. In Oklahoma it's a side dish!

What the fuck is the obession with ranch salad dressing? Is this an Oklahoma thing? I think not after doing some research at Bitter Waitress. Why is it that most patrons at a restaurant have to have a gallon of ranch with all food items?

"Can I get a water with lemon and a side of ranch?"
"I'll have the cheesecake for dessert with a side of ranch."
"I'd like the red snapper special along with a kiddie pool of ranch on the side."

FUCK.

One day I'll own my own restaurant and I intend to have a mini fridge at each table stocked full of FUCKING RANCH SALAD DRESSING so some poor server slob making $2.13 and hour doesn't have to run to the kitchen three hundred times a shift to get a side of ranch to go along with someone's FUCKING BURNT TO A CRISP WELL DONE STEAK WITH A-1 SAUCE!!!

Many thanks to the d-bags that have the common courtesy to request a side of ranch at the time their order is being taken! You've saved me a lot of time running my ass off for a 12% tip!

Sometimes food should be enjoyed without being slathered with salad dressing... another diet Pepsi?

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