Friday, August 22, 2008

Would you like some ranch with that?

What the fuck is the obession with ranch salad dressing? Is this an Oklahoma thing? I think not after doing some research at Bitter Waitress. Why is it that most patrons at a restaurant have to have a gallon of ranch with all food items?

"Can I get a water with lemon and a side of ranch?"
"I'll have the cheesecake for dessert with a side of ranch."
"I'd like the red snapper special along with a kiddie pool of ranch on the side."

FUCK.

One day I'll own my own restaurant and I intend to have a mini fridge at each table stocked full of FUCKING RANCH SALAD DRESSING so some poor server slob making $2.13 and hour doesn't have to run to the kitchen three hundred times a shift to get a side of ranch to go along with someone's FUCKING BURNT TO A CRISP WELL DONE STEAK WITH A-1 SAUCE!!!

Many thanks to the d-bags that have the common courtesy to request a side of ranch at the time their order is being taken! You've saved me a lot of time running my ass off for a 12% tip!

Sometimes food should be enjoyed without being slathered with salad dressing... another diet Pepsi?

2 comments:

Shimmy said...

Well luckily I work in a restaurant where we don't serve ranch!!!! Most people don't know what good food tastes like much less what their food actually tastes like as it is meant to be. Their culinary disposition, in Oklahoma especially, is low.

lacy said...

it would be fucking hilarious...if it weren't true.